As I’m finishing out my first week back at school I am filled with joy and excitement, but also feel as if a piece of me is missing. As many of you know, my high school sweetheart and I don’t attend the same college. Some people don’t understand dating long-distance while in college or say that it “ruins” the experience, however, I certainly don’t see it that way. In my opinion, if you truly love someone enough it doesn’t matter how far you go because they will always be with you. (So deep…right?!?)
While it absolutely stinks not having my favorite person at school with me, I think that there are so many blessings in being at different schools. To those of you who may be in a similar situation or approaching long distance for the first time, I have a few words of wisdom from my experience last year dating long-distance. I say this hoping to help comfort to friends in a similar situation. However, please know that every couple is different, that being said what may work for me may not work for you.
- It’s about equal effort. If you both have the desire in your heart to make things work, they will. It might not be the easiest thing to go through, but to me, it’s totally worth it.
- Communication is key. For Cole and I, communication is very important (as it should be in any good relationship). I’m genuinely interested in hearing about how his day went and what is going on in his world. This of course doesn’t mean you need to be glued to your iPhone all day, but putting away 15 minutes every day to catch up makes all the difference. It’s important to make your significant other feel like they are a part of your day, even if they can’t be there physically. Also a plus side: you’ll always have something new to talk about if you and your loved one are in different places. Additionally, dating long-distance teaches you just how precious and sweet the sound of the voice on the other line truly is.
- Believing in a greater plan. Cole and I are big believers that everything happens for a reason. Originally, we were both supposed to attend UNCC. Looking back now, I am so thankful that God had something better in store for each of us. While I think UNCC would have been a great school to attend and I’m sure I would’ve loved to do college with Cole, I couldn’t imagine a better place for me to grow than Appalachian State. I know Cole would say the same about his experience this last year and for all of the opportunities he’s already been given from his school, Anderson University. I believe with all my heart that being at school where I am, I am being stretched to be greater by abandoning my comfort and security by leaving my hometown and those closest to my heart.
- Have your own experiences. I think why most people think long distance dating isn’t worthwhile in college is because they don’t like the idea of being “tied-down.” First and foremost, if this is the mindset you have about the relationship you’re in, you are most definitely in the wrong one. When at different schools, Cole and I, both have different activities and interests we pursue. I don’t have to do everything with him and being at my own college, I have to have my own experiences. Which in my opinion have stretched me to be a better version of myself. It can be uncomfortable and hard to put yourself out there, especially when you don’t have the comfort of having your significant other around, but push yourself anyway. Make new friends and get the most out of your experience while you can because college only lasts for so long.
- Scheduling/planning. The hardest thing about long distance in my opinion is that sometimes it feels like an eternity before I get to see my best friend next. What helps me to get through the hard days is having something to look forward to. Whether that be planning a fun day trip when we get to see each other next, down to something as little as scheduling a FaceTime date for later that night. When you know what’s ahead, it’s easier to focus on what is happening now.
- It’s what you make it to be. If you go off to college with the mindset that long distance is going to absolutely be awful, it will be. It’s hard, I won’t lie. I spent many days after he left with horrible headaches and a belly full of candy. (And don’t even think of judging me until you’ve been in this situation, too.) However, complaining about it won’t make things any better. Last year I wasn’t sure what to expect of college and dating long-distance, but it has provided me with so many teachable moments and strengthened my relationship in so many ways.
I’m so expectant of this year and this season of preparation Cole and I are in. So many great things have come from each of us having the ability to attend our dream schools, I can’t wait to see what this year will bring!
Wishing the best to you and yours!
XO,
Savannah
Glow Girl's Light 